SkyMall

One of the few amenities left today on planes are the free magazines stuffed into the seat pocket in front of you.

Typically, I will leaf through the magazine, sometimes doing the crossword or attempting the sudoku. But oftentimes I fly during the same month, which is the time frame for the magazine to be replaced...meaning if I read the magazine on my departing flight, I have nothing to read on my return flight. Or someone else has already finished the crossword and put it back into the seat. Please stop doing that.

Enter SkyMall.

I have never bought anything from SkyMall. I seriously doubt I will ever buy anything from SkyMall. But, boy, have I gone through every page of SkyMall. People often go to Sharper Image and think "this is stuff for the person who has everything" but Sharper Image is one small chunk of the world of people who have everything. SkyMall fills in the remaining gap.


There are all sorts of crazy items, some of them logged in the comedy book SkyMaul, but the one item that is always ubiquitous that I've never been able to understand is the Pop-up hot dog cooker.

Perhaps this is the gift for the busy mother with plenty of counterspace because I don't know about you, but by the time you dug this appliance out from a cupboard, unplugged something and plugged this thing in, you could've easily boiled or pan-fried two hot dogs. There are a couple of other hot dog cookers, that more resemble the rolling spit from convenience stores and gas stations, but I could see those being a little more practical because it does more than two hot dogs and could be used at a party, maybe by a company or baseball team selling concessions.

Other unusual items for a home include a chilled shot machine (good for frats?), an automatic towel dispenser, a motorized pool lounger for the iultimate lazy experience, a breakfast cereal dispenser (see above comment regarding counter space) and a Fiesta Station Buffet, for those days when just putting chicken into bowls and tortillas on a warm plate JUST WON'T DO. That last one actually advertises itself as being "for your home" so they are not aiming at, like, companies or small restaurants or something.

But, honestly, nothing beats the hot dog warmer.

Who says you can't go home?

I've been back in Minnesota for the past three glorious days. Today is my last day at home and boy, I don't want to leave. It has nothing to do with not liking New Jersey/Philly. I had my reasons for moving there and they still apply.

I've had a whirlwind stay of going out to meet friends and a few quiet times at home, though not quite enough of the latter. In fact, I have to leave in a little bit again, but I wanted to do a quick update. Maybe I shouldn't have wasted the good title for this short brief, but so it goes!

Frankie says Relax!

I said it in my last entry but it was buried. So at the risk of sounding shrill:

Dear visitors:
RELAX! Breathe! You are on vacation. Not only that, you are vacationing on an island. Getting two cars ahead isn't going to do much. There's no other place to go. We are surrounded by water.

Everyone wants to get to their beach/minigolf/bar/house as much as you do. Understand that. So please wait your turn. Gunning 5 cars ahead will save you, what, a minute? That's not much time and not worth raising your blood pressure.

Also, when you are at the beach with your wife and daughter, and the sun is warm and the wind is just right and you have your feet buried in the sand? Put away the Blackberry. Heck, don't even bring it to the beach. Nothing is so important it can't wait a few hours while you relax.

Talk to your wife. Find out how she is doing. You're likely always working and she might miss that connection. (Then again, maybe she doesn't and this is part of the arrangement! Who knows!)
Look at your daughter! She is gorgeous and sweet and smart. She won't be that size much longer, where she is still excited about playing with a toy dolphin in a bucket of salt water.

Your email can wait. Your daughter can not.

Driving in New Jersey

The one thing I don't think I'll ever get used to is driving in this state. Particularly on the Garden State Parkway. The posted speed limit is 65. Now, I am not some sort of puritan who insists at going at or below the speed limit. I'll admit it, I'll sometimes push 5 to 10 miles over.

I follow the "use the left lane for passing only" style of driving and sometimes when I am doing my 10 (ok 15) over in the left lane to pass someone in the right lane, I get nosed. Okay, that's fine. some people go faster than me. But when I am going OVER the speed limit in the right lane and people are nosing me, I get angry. First of all, go in the left lane and pass me if you think I'm going to slow. Second of all, seriously? You are nosing me to go faster when I am already going over the speed limit? As if your speed is the correct speed? It's just some of that selfishness and self-centeredness and entitlement...um, entitlementness (it's now a word) that I find lately.

Perhaps this is all magnified by the tourists here. I sort of want to wave out the window and yell "HEY! you're on vacation! It's okay to relax!" There is a light that has two lanes before the intersection and one lane after. It stands to reason that you would merge every other car--just makes sense, doesn't overly slow down either lane. But I always get these people who gun ahead to get in front of me, before their turn, as if they need to win. People. It's 35 mph. On an island. We're not going anywhere.

Another thing I struggle with is the lack of signage. This is a state built for GPS systems. Because sometimes the street sign for a major intersection either won't appear (frighteningly common) or will appear almost after the turn. This is especially frustrating with the New Jersey jughandles, where you turn right to take a left. I thought I had it all down, major intersections have jug handles, less major do not. But then there is an intersection in Brick where its a straight up left turn and I was in the right lane. I missed the turn, obviously, and had to drive a few blocks before I could find a place to turn around. Confusing.

All of this is probably compounded by the fact I drive a lot, so I get frustrated a lot.

I think I'll take my own advice and relax!

Minnesota State Fair

MN State Fair, originally uploaded by kevinthoule.

Today is the first day of the Minnesota State Fair--otherwise known as Thrifty Thursday for all the discounts--and I am not there.

This is so sad. The two big events I went to every year was the Festival of Nations (except for the year I got chicken pox) and the Minnesota State Fair. Festival of Nations was a bit more cultured, with people sharing their ethnic backgrounds through food, dance and exhibits.

The Minnesota State Fair was the chance to show off the varied "culture" of the state of Minnesota. That culture was that of farmers, mullets and cheese. At least, that's what I went to the fair to see: People, animals and food. Though people and food usually took precedence.

I have fond memories of the Giant Slide, something which is less exciting (its not as big when you are bigger) but still must do everytime. The pig barn was fun cause you could get the "I visited the pig barn" ears. But I'd be lying if I didn't say my true love was walking around looking at people while eating my latest food on a stick.

My favorite food on a stick was cheese on a stick, but the ultimate state fair food is, handsdown, Cheese Curds. It's like, when you buy a ticket to the State Fair, it says on the back "void if ticket bearer does not have at least one cheese curd during the course of the fair."

I don't know if any of the NJ State Fairs can hold a candle to the MN State Fair, which has the added bonus of being washed in nostalgia, but I seriously doubt it.

(sorry about the large amount of linkage, but trust me: the flickr ones are ALL Worth it. At least that's what Fairchilde the state fair mascot tells me.)

shifting to a night shift

Technically I've been working nights since about May, but I feel like only recently have I truly slipped into a true night shift--all its pros and all its cons.

Let's put it this way, only a night shift has you tearing the sheets OFF your bed at 11:40 p.m. and tossing them in the washing machine, while cookies are baking in the oven.

I managed to stave this off for awhile, sleeping pretty soon after I got home (usually before midnight) and waking by 9 a.m., sometimes earlier. That way, I got the morning to do errands before going into work at 2 p.m.

But recently I've been unable to sleep until closer to 2 a.m....and waking up around 10:30 or 11 a.m. Perhaps I still could get errands done, but I usually just eat breakfast, clean myself, watch some TV, eat a snack and go to work.

There are all sorts of oddities to the night shift that I never quite understood before--I honestly thought you would still be able to get all sorts of morning errands done, etc.

Here are a few things I noticed:

--Doing laundry at midnight
--Strange eating schedule. For me, it's breakfast/lunch at 11:30 a.m., Some sort of food at around 4:30/5 p.m. and another snack when you get home from work. Meals don't really have names.
--Never having groceries because the store closes at 10 p.m. and you just can't get yourself up in the morning.
--Baking cookies at 1 a.m.
--Taking out the trash at midnight
--General cleaning in the middle of the night.
--Rarely going out to dinner/meals with friends.
--Not watching regular primetime TV like most people.
--General downgrade in social activities.


Basically, all the stuff you would do in the evening, night shifters do in the middle of the night. The problem is a lot of those things aren't available in the middle of the night.

I wonder why the body feels the need to stay awake so many hours after work? To unwind? What better way to unwind then toss yourself in bed?

All in all, though, night shift is pretty cool. The social downfalls aren't that big of a deal since I don't have too many friends here, but perhaps that is why I haven't made a lot of friends too. I especially like working nights on the Sunday through Thursday shift because I still get Friday and Saturday nights to go out, but I also get all of Friday off. It totally feels like an extra day off.

Of course, I'm sure I'll feel different once I have a family, husband, kids, etc...

Dear Blogger: You are not a journalist.

Dear Blogger at the borough meeting tonight:
Please do not represent yourself as a reporter or journalist. You are not. You are not writing an "article." What you are doing is NOT journalism.

You obviously pushed my buttons enough to get me to write this. As my friends would know, I am a big supporter of bloggers. Obviously. I mean, I write one. But I read blogs, especially news aggregate blogs, where people comment on news stories. I even sometimes read blogs that do their own reporting. I think this all adds to the public discussion, and that's great.

But where I draw the line is when bloggers act and talk like you do and represent themselves as one of us. There are certain standards we stick to that you as bloggers and "citizen journalists" do not need to, or choose not to, adhere to. And this is why we get the reputation we do, as people who like to bend the truth.

Here is where you annoyed me tonight:
--You inserted yourself into my interview with an official. Fine. I do that too, so I can get some quotes, but you did it in a way that interrupted the conversation and caused the official to lose his train of thought. Bad move. Do it quietly.
--When I asked a question of the official, after you rudely inserted yourself, you proceeded to try and answer it yourself. If I wanted to interview you, I would have. I don't care if you know the answer, I am not asking you. Let him answer.
--When asking questions yourself, don't ask leading ones. And don't try to half-answer them yourself, especially when you half-answer them full-wrong. Part of asking questions is sometimes asking dumb ones so you can get the full answer, possibly as a quote.
--To further expand on that, don't interrupt with a RIGHT, uh-uh, YES, YES, as if you know and its annoying you to hear it again.
--The most insidous thing was when you talked about trying to convince your readers. Convince? And then told me you were trying to get your article published in a local newspaper. Perhaps you mean a guest column or an editorial? Not article. We do not try to Convince people of anything. We report what people tell us are facts and let the reader decide. If I tried to convince people, I'd downplay valid arguments, likely with some sort of "but" clause afterwards to automatically discredit it, and, conversely, overinflate arguments for the issue. Are things wrong sometimes? Sure. People tell half-truths or outright lies that are sometimes hard to uncover. That's why attribution is important. Its not me saying anything.

I'm not even going to comment on your method of note-taking on a Sidekick because to each their own. I am going to hope you got everything down, and got it right, cause you seemed to not be typing everything including some important bits.

I know this has gotten long and slightly ranty, but this really upset me and I wanted to clear the air. There is a reason the official kept looking at me like "WTF" and at the end said he was happy to hear I was a reporter.

"Reporter? I like reporters," he said. That's a direct quote.

Sincerely,
Shruti.