Thursday, March 1, 2007

(not really) Giving up

I feel like giving up on meeting people. I had an incident the other night that sort of scared me off of making friends, despite all my efforts. Just some viewpoints and people basically invalidating my personal feelings and telling me I was wrong, I won't get into details because it wasn't worth fighting about then and not worth revealing now, because it was just sort of a personal realization that I am trying to make something out of nothing.

I have enough good friends in Philly and NYC and I'm too old to make friends "just to have someone to spend time with." Who wants to make half-hearted friends? It always ends up bothering me more because I feel terribly guilty that I am only friends with someone to hang out with them.

In a few more months, this island will be CRAWLING with people. I'll maybe be able to meet more people then. It's like one of those reasons I chose a larger college. I figured, larger college, more people, more chances of finding people I can really click with. (excuse the ending with a participle.) Right now there is a small population, period, down here, and when you think about the 20 to 30 population, its even less.

I should say I have made two friends that I enjoy. One is moving away, so that is unforunate, and one lives about 30 minutes away and works in the city, so he is generally busy, but I like getting together with him.

I'm not generally unhappy, so why push things? It's like a good relationship--you'll find it when you're not looking. So, I'm gonna stop seeing a friend in every person I meet and just let things happen. I feel comfortable with this decision, not like I am giving up on meeting people and shutting them out, but not forcing it to happen either. A good happy medium.

I am going to a card stamping class on Friday, that should be fun! This is a stay-at-home and nest and clean and catch up on things. It is much-needed...and next weekend? I will be HOME for four glorious days of family, friends and food! Oh and tons of snow, apparently.

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